There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything. So how do you prioritize? How do you decide what really matters, and what just seems important right now? We have jobs, relationships, kids, extended family, exercise, and more that we have to try to figure out how to fit into our lives.
As you grow up, most of the things you do are assigned for you. You may choose to join a team, but the practices and games are all scheduled, and you show up when you have to. As you get older, you have to make more choices about how to allocate the time in your life. But typically no one ever shows you how to do this.
First, think about what it really important to you, and why. Really think about the "why" part. Is it really important to you, or is that baggage from your parents or from a previous relationship? What truly matters to you? Imagine yourself 30 years from now, looking back at your life. Did you choose the things that mattered, or did you choose the things that seemed important at the time, but didn't have a lasting impact?
For me, family time and relationship time are at the top of my list. Those are far more important to me than money. I would not choose to work more hours, even for vastly more money, because those hours would take away from my family time and relationship time. Those are the lasting memories that I want to create for myself and the people I love. I'm not saying I couldn't find a use for more money, but the trade-off isn't worth it for me. I quit a good-paying job to start my business, in large part because I wanted to make sure that I didn't miss my girls growing up.
Once you've evaluated what is important to you, now look at how you spend the hours in your day. Does the allocation of your time match what you value? If you work more than 40 or 50 hours a week, is that what you want? Why? If long work hours take away from family and relationship time, think about a change. Would it be worth it to make less money, but have more family time, or more walking the dog time? Would you be willing to move into a smaller house, and drive a less expensive car? Again, picture yourself looking back in 30 years. Are you proud of your choices?
If spending time with the people you care about, or getting in shape, are priorities, but you feel like there isn't time, look closely at how you spend your time when you're not at work. Do you watch TV? How many hours a day? Do you waste hours on the internet? Could this time be re-allocated? I unplugged my TV 15 years ago, and my life is better for it.
It's so easy to get into habits of how you spend your time, then feel locked into them. It's also easy to "golden handcuff" yourself, where you work harder and harder to maintain your lifestyle, at the expense of your life. What good is a big home if you're too tired to enjoy it?
It may not feel like it, but you really are in control of your life. Or, at least, you could be. Choose the life you want, then live it. Make some hard choices if you need to. Think about the legacy you want to leave with the people you love. Are you working towards that? Are you willing to?
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