Boys hurt each other on the outside. Girls go way deeper. Being a father of two girls means that I have to somehow help them deal with the cruelty of girls. Today Mariah found out that two of her classmates invited all of the other eighth graders, including the teachers, to their dance show this weekend, but did not invite Mariah or one other girl. What's a dad to do?
I try to set the most realistic expectations for my girls. I have told them since they were little that they don't have to do anything. They have free will. If they choose to be mean, that is their choice. But they should remember that every choice comes with a consequence, either positive or negative. So I can't tell Mariah that those girls have to be nice to her. Instead I tell her that they're being mean. Because, really, what else can you say? Sometimes girls are just mean to each other. Well, not just girls of course, but I have daughters so that's where we are right now.
I pointed out that her school is very, very small. Next year she'll be in high school with 1000 other kids, and will have many more options for friends. I know that this doesn't help the situation now. But when kids are being mean to you, and are excluding you, nothing can really help you feel better about it. It hurts. It sucks. I wish I could take the pain for her, but I know that experiencing this pain, and being able to get through it and talk about it with me and with Leah, will help her be a stronger person.
Every thing that doesn't kill you really does make you stronger, but only if you let it. My sweet little girl is getting a little stronger today. I'm happy about it, and I hate it.
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