"Daddy, why did that man honk and give you the finger?" "Oh honey, that's because his wife won't have sex with him." How do you explain to kids why people are mean? Put simply, people who are happy with their own lives treat the people around them well.
Personally, it helps me to accept others' actions if I can understand why they did what they did. Understanding where someone else is coming from doesn't make it hurt any less when they are mean to you, but at least it can help to know that it isn't personal. That person isn't striking out at you because of who you are. They are striking out at the pain in their own lives.
Is the guy behind you in traffic actually irate at you? Or is he in a miserable marriage, working for a boss who doesn't appreciate him? He feels like he can't yell at his wife, because he has to live with her, and he can't yell at his boss, because he'll get fired. But the other driver on the road is someone he can yell at.
Think about it the next time you find yourself angry at someone. Are you actually mad at what that person just did? Is your level of anger appropriate for the situation? Or are you channeling anger from somewhere else? Now take that a step further. When you've been repeatedly put down, or looked over, or hurt by someone, doesn't it give you just a moment of power to do the same thing to someone else?
The problem is, it only lasts for a moment, because you can't use someone else's pain to get your pleasure. You can find your own true happiness by treating other people well, and by being true to yourself.
I know how much it hurts when someone is mean to you. We've all had it happen to us, and it hurts every time. But the next time it happens, try to think about what that person is really doing. I'm happy with my life, and I spend my days treating people well. What does it say about the person yelling at me? How miserable are they? Isn't that kind of sad?
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