It's easy to feel like the actions of other people has something to do with us, especially when their actions affect us. The fact is, when people are being mean or selfish, their actions are usually so self-centered that they never think for a moment how their actions are affecting other people.
If someone is having a bad day (or a bad life) they will frequently express their frustrations by being mean others. We all interact with them. Maybe it's the cashier at the store, or a co-worker, or it could even be someone you love. When people are acting out in an unkind way towards you, try to remember that while their negativity is coming in your direction, it is actually only a symptom of their own unhappiness.
When a person is selfish, they will frequently hurt the people close to them by being insensitive to their feelings. Again, this has nothing to do with you. They haven't thought of you because they are selfish, which is about them, not about you. Selfish people are selfish because of themselves, not because of you. The next time the selfish person in your life is being totally insensitive to what you need, try to remember that they treat everyone this way because they're selfish. It has nothing to do with you. Selfish people can never be truly happy, because if you truly believe that you are the most important person there is, you can never be satisfied.
It's hard to remember this when you're feeling the pain from someone else's actions, but try it. Remind yourself that it isn't about you. It isn't personal. You may even feel some sympathy for a person who is so selfish or hurtful that they are preventing their own happiness.
really good advice, and you're right, it is hard to not take their insensitivity personally. also a comment on this and maybe an idea for another post, that being that so many of us are so busy trying to balance our work and personal lives and end up failing at both sometimes in the process that there's a tendency to become more selfish as an act of self-preservation, but in doing so you end up alienating people you care about. If you keep doing this it becomes a negative pattern. Advice on keeping the balance so you don't fall into this negative pattern/coping mechanism?
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