Dating isn't so much to find your future spouse, it's more to rule out all the people who aren't suitable to be with you. Especially as a teenager, dating should be used as a tool to find out which qualities in people you need, and which ones are a deal-breaker for you.
Mariah and I were on our way home from the gym today, and she tuned out a little while I was talking, then tuned back in and asked what I was saying. She does this sometimes, where her mind wanders. We had a good laugh about it, as we normally do, but then it got me thinking. At some point she is going to date a boy who thinks this is really annoying, and maybe even gets mad at her for it. It may even be a boy she really likes. What's to be done? Move on to the next boy.
If someone doesn't accept you for exactly who you are, then they are not the one for you. None of us are perfect. We all have little idiosyncrasies in our personalities. It's what makes us unique. When someone is right for you, they accept you for who you are, including your flaws.
She'll be starting high school in the fall, and at some point will start dating. I have a huge responsibility to help make that process as positive as it can be. And I think that the right starting point is to look at dating for what it is; a tool to find out who will eventually be right for you. I know it's hard, but try to think of your own dating process, or your kids', as a prolonged interview process.
If you can look at it this way, it will seem less devastating when it doesn't work out with someone. Figure out what about that person wasn't right for you, and make an effort to avoid those qualities in the future. Maybe they were the one who broke it off. That doesn't change anything. Something about it wasn't right, so figure out what it was.
The right person is out there for you. It's a process to find them. It's unrealistic to think that you'll find them quickly. As with most things in life that are important, it takes a lot of work to get it right.
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